Remember this when you're bitchin' about female drivers!!!!! I was riding to work yesterday when I observed female driver cut right in front of a pickup truck causing him to have to drive on to the shoulder to avoid hitting her.

This evidently angered the driver enough that he hung his arm out his window and flipped the woman off.

"Man, that guy is stupid," I thought to myself. I ALWAYS smile nicely and wave in a sheepish manner whenever a female does anything to me in traffic and here's why:

I drive 48 miles each way every day to work, that's 96 miles each day. Of these, 16 miles each way is bumper-to-bumper.

Most of the bumper-to-bumper is on an 8 lane highway so if you just look at the 7 lanes I am not in, that means I pass a new car something like every 40 feet per lane.

That's 7 cars every 40 feet for 32 miles. That works out to be 982 cars every mile, or 31,424 cars. Even though the rest of the 32 miles is not bumper to bumper, I figure I pass at least another 4000 cars.

That brings the number to something like 36,000 cars I pass every day.

Statistically, half of these are driven by females,

That's 18,000.

In any given group of females 1 in 28 are having the worst day of their period.

That's 642.

According to Cosmopolitan, 70% describe their love life as dissatisfying or unrewarding. That's 449.

According to the National Institute of Health, 22% of all females have seriously considered suicide or homicide. That's 98. 34% describe men as their biggest problem. That's 33.

According to the National Rifle Association 5% of all females carry weapons and this number is increasing.

This means, that EVERY SINGLE DAY, I drive past at least one female that has a lousy love life, thinks men are her biggest problem, has seriously considered suicide or homicide, is having the worst day of her period, and is armed.

Flip one off?
I think not.

Even the parking lot attendants are exclusively female so
that a comfortable and safe environment is created for patrons.

Attached is the first picture available of this world-first women-only parking lot in Minnesota.

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These are all so true.

You really know you live in the Western MA when:

~They haven't spent a winter here!~

In the Upper Midwest were winter is winter for six months.

1. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway.

2. "Vacation" means going to Burlington VT. for the weekend.

3. You measure distance in hours.

4. You know several people who have hit moose more than once.

5. You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.

6. You use a down comforter in the summer.

7. Your grandparents drive at 65 mph through 13 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching.

8. You see people wearing hunting clothes at social events.

9. You install security lights on your house and garage yet leave both unlocked.

10. You think of the major food groups as: deer meat, beer, fish, and berries.

11. You carry jumper cables in your car and your wife or girlfriend knows how to use them.

12. There are 6 empty cars running in any parking lot at any given time.

13. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.

14. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.

15. You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and flannel pajamas.

^{(If she look at you in the right way, they can be)}

16. You know all 4 seasons: Almost Winter, Winter, Still Winter, and Construction.

17. It takes you 3 hours to go to the store for one item even when you're in a rush because you have to stop and talk to everyone in town.

18. You actually understand these jokes and forward them to all your friends from Western Mass.